Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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