i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
