Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
