I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
