My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
operation have a gay friend backfired
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
