I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Randomize
