got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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