listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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