If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
