I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
