The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
