If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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