Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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