Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
