im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
