like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
