And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
