I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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