why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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