so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
