the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
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and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
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The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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