All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
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im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
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"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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