East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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