I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
