On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
