I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
