i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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