the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
