yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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