All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
operation harelip BJ is a go
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
