are you so shy because you have an std?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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