He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
