i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
