At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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