Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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