I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize