Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
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