Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
