is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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