you turned your livingroom into a bong?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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