Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
