but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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