so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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