yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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