If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
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