Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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