I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
