when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
As shirtless as possible
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
