gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
