an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
