I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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