He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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