I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm getting married
To pizza
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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