I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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