I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I love having hate sex.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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