Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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