I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
