I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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