Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
