Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
