Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
