i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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