I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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