so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
